Random Facts

Here are some random facts about me. Some of them will take their own future posts to fully elaborate.

1. My husband thinks I have a hamster running on a wheel in my head.

2. He's right, but I also have a little guy that runs laps around the track up there too. When they both get going at the same time (see picture) the world is in big, big trouble.

3. While sitting at restaurants, I often wonder how much of a given item they go through in a day. Doesn't anyone else wonder how many pancakes they go through at IHOP on a Saturday morning? Wonder is probably an understatement. It's more of an obsessive curiosity. I usually have to count tables, average the number of people per and the amount per person and then do the math. Once I guestimate how many times they turn the table and do the math one more time I'm OK and can go on with my meal in peace.

4. I get people mixed up. All it takes is one slight connection and the two become one. Ben Affleck and Ben Stiller, Sam Jackson and Lawrence Fishburn, Rick James and James Brown.

5. I killed the Godfather of Soul. A mix up between Rick James and James Brown lead me to vehemently proclaim that the Godfather was in fact dead and my husband didn't know wth he was talking about. Unfortunately for me (and the Godfather of Soul) he dropped dead round about the time we were having that debate. My Bad!

6. I had a 'fro in second grade. There are pictures to prove it. Thank God they didn't have digital cameras in the 80's.

7. I road the short bus to Kindergarten. Apparently they couldn't handle me all day. I wonder why?

8. I had to wear braces, glasses and a back brace all at the same time in Jr. High and part of High School. Though I didn't appreciate it at the time. It solidified my ability to not give a damn what other people think about me. For that I will always be grateful.

Happy Birthday To Me

It's been a great day so far. I had breakfast in bed. Mar-Dub got up early and brought me a Diet Dr. Pepper. When I got hungry, I had to get off my ass and get my own Frosted Flakes, but I ate them in bed damn it.

I hopped on the scale this morning and it lied to me! That bad boy posted up 141 instead of the usual 145. I'll have to thank my husband for rolling it back. When it racks up higher tomorrow, I'll remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat, so I must be going in the right direction.

The library emailed me and told me that my copy of the new Janet Evanovich book came in today. I picked it up and took the kids to the pool for a couple of hours so I could read.

In watching the MJ coverage today, I heard the phrase, "Quiet as its kept" twice. I love that expression. I may be the only white person in the history of ever to use that one. I'm probably the only white person that has Ghostface Killah on her Ipod, so I'm not sure what that's worth.

I heard Sarah Palin explain that she wouldn't have to deal with all of the ethics investigations if she were President because she would have "The Department of Law" to protect her.

I don't have to cook dinner. I'm guessing we will be eating leftovers and I'll still have to clean the kitchen before it is all said and done, but I am focusing on the positive.

$30 Southwesst Airlines Flights

This deal is good today and tomorrow only. Flights from $30 per leg. From Dallas you can get to New Orleans for $60 also NY and LA for $90 one way.

Fine Print:

Fares do not include federal excise tax of $3.60 per takeoff and landing, airport-assessed passenger facility charges (PFC) of up to $9, and government-imposed September 11th Security Fee of up to $5 one-way.
Purchase by July 8, 2009, 11:59 pm Pacific Standard Time.
Travel September 9 through November 18, 2009.
Travel valid every day except Fridays & Sundays.

Free Coupon for Starbucks Icecream Pint

Starbucks is offering 800 free pint coupons on their Facebook page at the top of each hour today.
Sign into your facebook account, then click here to get to their share app. When it asks you to share the ice cream with a friend put your info in there. It says it's ok to share with yourself btw. I logged in right at 10AM and didn't have any trouble getting 1 of the 800.

~Cheesy Freebie and Coupon Pimping Half-Assed Housewife

"You know I'm Pinky in this relationship"

"We're Pinky and the Brain. We're Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius the others insane."

Last night we made a more or less last minute decision to go to Kaboom Town in Addison. This is decidedly the best July 4th (scratch that July 3rd) fireworks display in the Metroplex. We drove down there not knowing what to expect. We had no beer, water, chairs, blankets or anything. It was the two of us and my Handi-tag for quick and easy parking.

We get down there and snag some super primo handicapped parking. At this part we are literally in the center of Addison Circle. The geographical reference will help those that know the area laugh their asses off at us later I promise.

We get out of the car and Big Chocolate asks if I want to walk to the restaurants down on Belt-Line (at least 2 miles away for the record). I give him that look that can only be translated as "Fuck That". So we decide to get pizza by the slice about 100 yards from the car.

We are in line with about 800 other people in the pizza joint and the bitch in front of me decides to throw a fit because she can't order a "custom pizza". She then proceeds to order the slices I have been eyeing and ask the guy behind the counter if he would consider the cheese pizza vegetarian. WTF lady. For all those who are wondering cheese pizza is in fact vegetarian but not vegan.

Then we get a text from a friend saying they are at a hangar party at the Addison airport which is more or less right across the road. We decide to go and start to muse over whether we should unpark the car or walk. Dubs suggests we take the car, but I don't want to lose our primo parking spot, so I suggest we try to walk it since he wanted to walk to the other end of the moon earlier.

Off we go. Keep in mind we don't know exactly where we are going at the airport and they tend to be rather large places even the small ones. About 2/3 of a mile in I suggest we turn around since we still don't know where we are going and my mobility impaired hips are starting to scream mean nasty words at me. This is at the corner of Addison Road and wherever.

"Awe hell naw. We are committed now!" Damn he never gives in.

At this point I convince him it might be a good idea to at least use the navigation on the cell phone to make sure we are walking the right way down Addison Road. Of course we weren't. We turn back around, going the right way.

Nav tells us we have to turn right on Lindbergh and walk all the fucking way to Midway and then have to go north again.

At about a mile and a half in he looks at me like he wants to kill me and reminds me that it was my idea to walk. I remind him that I am the Pinky in this relationship and he is supposed to save me from myself when I have a stupid idea. He keeps walking and occasionally cussing. All I can really do is laugh because this is so us.

About 2 1/2 miles in we pass a group of cops on the side of the road who look at us kind of crazy. It's like they knew we were going the wrong way or something. I seriously considered asking them to save me since domestic violence was in my very near future.

We finally make it to the airport entrance we are supposed to be at and the hangar we are going to turns out to only be the 23rd hangar we pass. We get there tell everyone what we did. Everyone laughs and points and laughs some more. We sit on the back of our friends pick up and drink because it is and has been fucking hot for along time and we are beat.

We have a great time watching the fireworks. Once everything is over we pile in the truck with my husband who is 6'4" and 275 pounds, his friend "Felonious" who's larger, and another dude in the back with me and my 85 pound friend who drank at least a whole bottle of wine all by herself.

We then get stuck in the gridlock for another couple of hours with my friend in a continuous loop of the same 5 questions over and over and over.

A great evening all the way around. A Seinfeld Episode, but a great evening none the less. I can't wait until next year.

A Damn Shame

At lunch today, Dubelicious is sending a text and asks me how do you spell "misspell"? I respond, "I got nothing". We had to go with can't spell instead so we weren't too embarrassed.

We have about $300,000 worth of education between the two of us. No we didn't pay for most of it. We had an ass-load of scholarships for grad school. My parents killed themselves to pay for my undergrad since I am not as athletically inclined as Big Chocolate.

In my defense I have taken 2 English classes and that was because they made me. Big Daddy Dub Dub on the other hand majored in English and managed to have a surprisingly respectable finish to law school.

As an aside. I used 3 names for him all by myself today. Damn I am creative.

Secret confession time ~ Spell check had to fix six words other than "misspell" which I now know has a double s.

Who knew a name would be so popular?

Apparently there are a couple of other "Half-Assed Housewifes" out there. I've apparently pissed off one of them. Sorry.

We both started our blogs in May and who knows from there. I set mine up towards the beginning of May and can say I had know idea she was out there... Technically she posted first because I'm lazy and it took me a couple of weeks to catch fire (literally unfortunately).

Needless to say if you would like to check her blog out it is thehalfassedhousewife.blogspot.com as opposed to halfassedhousewife.blogspot.com. Upon further googling it looks like there is a 3rd Half-Assed Housewife out there who beat us both to the punch. You can find her at catanddave.com. It looks like she started in April 2009. I think her blog is the best of all three fwiw. It's so professional looking with video and everything!

Surely there is enough room in the blogosphere for 3 Half-Assed Housewives to get along.

PS: Since I am being accused of stealing "Mr. Half-Assed" (gee how could I have possibly come up with that one on my own??) he will henceforth be referred to as Dubelicious or Big Chocolate.

PSS: Spell check lit this post up like a roman candle.