A Three Timer

This Pork Tenderloin recipe is a 3-timer. What does being a 3-timer mean? Well it means I have cooked it 3 times and it has been delicious all 3 times. Even when I decided I knew the recipe well enough and improvised tonight. I always forget stuff when I do this. But dang it, I'm not a recipe follower.

Needless to say any recipe I can make three times successfully is certified by the Half Assed Housewife as fool proof. I like this recipe because of the technique more so than the actual ingredients.

Basically you rub down the meat like it's the man of your dreams. Then you throw it in a cast iron skillet to sear it for a few minutes. Move the skillet into a steamy 425 degree oven and cook the meat until it reaches an internal temperature of 145 degrees. In my oven this takes about 15 - 16 minutes if I am doing one tenderloin and closer to 20 if I am cooking two at one time.

It is uber easy and it gets a minimal number of dishes dirty. Plus it cooks relatively quickly. This is one of those 30 minute meals that only takes me 30 minutes to make instead of an hour and a half. It's relatively inexpensive for a "nice meal".

We have to double the recipe because my children eat more than NFL Linebackers. That being said, I buy my tenderloins at Central Market when they have them on sale. I bought 10 pounds last time they were on sale and had them wrapped in 2 pound packages for the freezer. I am pretty sure they are on sale for either $3 or $4 until Tuesday at CM in Plano. All told, tonight's meal set me back about $7. Six of that was for the meat and the other dollar was for a bag of egg noodles to go with. Everything else is stuff I keep in my pantry. (I have yet to use the sage the recipe calls for).

I also think it will adapt well to other seasonings and sauces I have been to lazy to explore. Another great feature of this recipe is that you can rescue some of the meat before you sauce it to make the picky people in your life happy.

Next time I find a deal on the Hormel pre-marinated varieties, I am going to try this technique with them instead.

I'm a Value Whore

So, I know you are laughing at the title of my post, but from time to time I want to post on things financial. I can no longer restrain my inner economist. You'll have to forgive the math and the circular reasoning. Sometimes I can't control myself.

First off, let me say I joke about being a cheapskate, and but it's not exactly the right word. Frugal and penny-pinching don't quite get the job done. After much consideration and self reflection, I have decided I am a value whore.

Now, what is a value whore? In my opinion a value whore is someone who looks for the best bang to buck ratio in life and then does anything legally and morally acceptable to increase the bang or decrease the buck side of the equation.

Going cheap isn't always the best route and I still want to enjoy life. Oh to hell with it, I like material possessions too - obscenely expensive handbags in particular. So being a value whore is my best bet.

Now some of you are shaking in your boots at the thought of any form of lavish spending and that's OK. That's who you are. Some of you wonder why the hell I waste my time clipping coupons and hunting down deals on the internet.

The reason I am a value whore is that the age old adage a penny saved is a penny earned isn't true. In my family's case, a penny saved is 1.57 penny's earned. This means that $100 saved is $157 earned.

Hold onto your hats boys and girls. Here comes the math.

We can all agree that if you save $1 you don't have to earn it. We can also agree that when you earn and spend $1 you have to pay tax on it. Lots and lots of tax on it if you think about it. Here's the breakdown for my family.

Self-employment tax = 15.3%
Marginal Income tax = 33%
Sales tax = 8.25%

This totals roughly 57% . Now this will vary from person to person based on your employment status, marginal tax rate, and where you live. Once you plug in your numbers you will get the idea. The idea and the mindset is the important thing here, not the math.

This has been a half-assed economist public service announcement. I now return you to your regular programing.

Accounting Error

So in doing C-Diddy's laundry for the week I have found a significant discrepancy. In his laundry for 7 days there are 11 shirts, 4 pair of shorts and count them with me not 1 but 2 pairs of dirty underwear. Oh wait let me revise that since he apparently wore them for 3.5 days each very, very dirty underwear.

WTH??? I can handle 11 shirts. Most of them are clean and he has just put them in the dirty clothes because he's too lazy to hang them up. The 4 pair of shorts doesn't really surprise me. He wears denim shorts that look the same most days. I'd be deluding myself if I thought he would actually put a clean pair on every day. Hey I've been known to recycle a pair of jeans with the best of them. But 2 pairs of undies in a week is freaking nasty.

What's a mom to do? I make the kid wash his ass on a daily basis, but where is it in the mom's handbook that you need to monitor the undies on an 11 year-old that closely.

Free Burt's Bees Lip Gloss Coupon

Try here for 1 of 1000 coupons between 8 AM and 11AM Central daily.

Server is really busy so keep clicking refresh when it tells you to go to hell. As of 8:30 I was still getting the "We're getting ready screen".

I could have gone and bought a lip gloss by now, but hey free stuff is fun!

Manipulation and Rice Krispy Treats

So I pick up Mars at school today and she informs me that tomorrow is her day to bring a snack to celebrate her birthday (in August mind you). Woo Hoo. I can hardly wait. It's not like this gets me off the hook for anything else when her birthday rolls around. It's just something extra I have to do right now.

Have I mentioned I am stoked about the prospect of having to spend $20 bucks on pre-made crap to take to school? My only other thought is I could make something but that would take forever and I am pretty sure anything home made is banned from public school at this point.

Then my little princess rescues me by saying, "We can make Rice Krispy Treats! Nobody believes you make them yourself and they taste better than the ones the Rice Crispy people make. Baron's mom brings cookies from home all of the time."

Wait this isn't being rescued. It's straight up manipulation. Dang I have taught her well. She presented me with an opportunity to save money, hooked me in with a compliment, and started reeling me in with the Baron's mom challenge. She is good. Really, really good.

So what can I say... we made Rice Krispy Treat's the half-assed way.

1. Throw 3/4 of a stick of butter in a big pasta pot.
2. Add a splash of vanilla (this is the secret ingredient)
3. Dump a 1 pound bag of Marshmallows in.
4. Stir over low heat until the butter and marshmallows are melted and gooey.
5. Throw in 9 cups* of crisp rice cereal and stir to coat.
6. If you love yourself, spread this out in a pan that is lined with non stick foil.

All of this for about $3 and 5 minutes of work. M-Dub will be measuring and cutting the cooled treats. We will call that math. She will also be putting them all in Ziploc Bags. We'll call that me being lazy. I will be a good parent and make sure she washes her hands first

* Half-Assed Hint: When you are bored measure how much stuff your cereal bowls hold. Mine hold 3 cups exactly. When ever I need 3 cups of something I just grab a cereal bowl and fill it up.

Road Trip - Part Two

Ahh... The best laid plans and all of that. One of the big reasons I wanted to take this road trip was to escape the inevitable Memorial Day BBQing and ensuing train-wreck that causes in the kitchen.

I had it all planned out I thought. My cleaning people (who don't half ass btw) were coming Monday morning, so we would get home to a spotless casa. Well truth be told I'm lieing. I remembered at the last minute they were coming so it was a mad dash to get everything picked up and a path cleared for them to work their magic. But hey, that's a minor detail.

Throughout the whole weekend I smiled every time I thought of the sheer pleasure of walking into a clean house after vacation. I even did 2 loads of laundry while we were at my Mom's so I wouldn't come home with a trailer full of dirty clothes.

We walk in the door about 4PM and the first words out of my husbands mouth are, "You know it's really not Memorial Day unless I smoke something."

Crap, Crap, Crap! But the kitchen is clean. Really clean. And, there's no way we will actually eat all of this. Be a big girl. Be a big girl. You can do it. Your not going to be able to stop him anyway. You might as well let him enjoy himself.

"How big of a brisket do you want me to get?"

I am such a wimp, but 24 hours later the kitchen clean again and my husband just informed me he would be eating every single bite of brisket since he "knew" I didn't think we would eat all of it.

I will report back later this week with the answer to the question "How long does it take a man to eat a whole brisket by himself?"

Grrreat Deal on Pop Tarts at Target

Summer is coming up and that means it's time to start feeding the kids crap for breakfast since they don't need to learn anything :) Target has 12 count Pop Tarts on sale for $2.33 with a $5 gift card when you buy 5. Also there are 50 cent of target coupons that you can print here. You can also use $1/2 from the 4/26 Red Plum coupon insert.

This gets you down to 83 cents a box with only the target printable or if you do the deal 2 times you can use 5 manufacturer coupons and get your total cost down to 43 cents a box for 10 boxes.

Happy shopping!

*Disclaimer: the target coupons do say one per transaction in the fine print, but usually they will take more than one at a time.