Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Monday, March 29, 2010

Bible in 90 Days - The Home Stretch

2 1/2 Days to Go. I am off pace, but it is not insurmountable. I am at the beginning of Philippians now which leaves me 88 chapters left to go. I know I could read 88 chapters of a James Patterson book in 2 days, so I know I can do this.

I will update as I work my way through to the end.

Update 3/30 Noon - 62 chapters left to go.
Update 3/30 2:30 PM - 53 chapters left to go.
Update 3/30 6:10 PM - 33 chapters left to go.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The End Times Are A-Comin'

First the earthquakes, and now my children are eating OATMEAL. For Dinner. By Choice.

Dear Candyman

A note from the office vending machine. I am attributing this to my good friend Blinderman until conclusive evidence of her innocence is presented:

Please be advised that the Twix and KitKat selections are not working. Please be aware that there are PMSing women in this building that cannot be held responsible for what happens to your machine if this is not fixed.

Update: Blinderman didn't even know the sign was there at all. I wonder who the resident comedian of the office building is????

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dear Nana Part 2

We finally finished the puzzle. Technically Mar Dub finished it because she came home and it only had about 2o pieces left.

I had been saving those to do together, but what the heck it is done. We can take it apart if that will convince you to come back and see us again soon though.

Damn it! I just noticed a piece is missing. I was so proud of us for not loosing any pieces too.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Dear Nana

Dear Nana,

I know you have only had grandchildren for the last 12 years of your life, but for the love of everything holy, we have talked about the small pieces rule for like the last 10 of them.

Yes, A 550 piece jigsaw puzzle has alot of small pieces in case you missed the memo. Yes, it is still on my dining room table in many, many small pieces.

You will never guess who has been the only person working on said puzzle. You're going to have to come back soon to finish the damned puzzle so I can get it off my table.

Your Half-Assed Daughter

Monday, March 22, 2010

Not Me Monday - The MOM I'm Warning You Not To Read Edition

While running errands like a crazy woman this week, I did NOT get to the gas station and have to buy $5 worth of gas because I couldn't find my debit card. I NEVER would have left my debit card in the ATM at the bank. NOT ME.

If I had done such a stupid thing, I would NOT have been brave enough to go back to the bank and tell the teller, "I'm an Ass and I think I left my debit card in the ATM." I do have a little pride left. In the end, I would NOT have been satisfied with the fact that I got my card back and Big Chocolate never has to know as well as excited by the adventure because I had something good for my blog.

At dinner Friday night, the following did not leave my lips: "If you think I'm going to trade 'painful butt sex' for a sun-dried tomato you have lost your mind." That was a friend's description by the way. I wouldn't know. Damn the double negatives here. I really, really wouldn't know that.

Big Chocolate did NOT accuse me of being a slob Saturday for wearing sweatpants and a holy sweatshirt to the movies. I would NEVER leave the house looking like that even if I was only going to be out in public for 3 minutes with the lights on and 2 hours in the dark. I did NOT have to go with the holy sweatshirt because it was the only one I had clean.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Works For Me Wednesday - Cheap Coupons

Rather than buying the expensive big city paper for $2.50 to get my weekly coupons, I learned that I can buy the local paper for 50 cents. They come out on Friday and have the exact same coupons as the Big Paper had the previous Sunday. Patience really pays off and that Works for Me.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Today is Mega SwagBucks Day

I just got 50 SwagBucks for searching the internet! So far I have earned enough swagbucks since the first of the year for $105 in Amazon Gift Cards!

When you sign-up they start you off with 30 free SwagBucks. It only takes 450 to earn your first $5 Amazon gift card. If you sign up, make sure you check out my SwagBucks Help Tab above. It has lots of advice on how to earn a ton of SwagBucks.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Betty Crocker Giveaway!

Read how you can help Betty Crocker grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions. Then enter for a chance to win a Betty Crocker Prize Pack!

The prize package provided by Betty Crocker and My Blog Spark includes: (1) package of the Betty Crocker Brownie Mix, (1) package of the Betty Crocker Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix, (1) Betty Crocker Spoon, and Betty Crocker will make a $25 donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Between now and April 15th, there are two ways you can help Betty Crocker support the Make-A-Wish foundation:

1. Participate in the Give $5, Get $5 promotion. Visit from now through March 31st, donate $5, and get $5 worth of downloadable Betty Crocker coupons!


2. Purchase your favorite Betty Crocker® products this spring. For every specially marked package purchased, Betty Crocker will donate 10¢ to the Make-A-Wish Foundation® (guaranteed minimum donation of $250,000 and a maximum donation of $500,000).

To Enter the giveaway, just leave a comment below asking to be entered and check back on March 30 to see if you won.

The winner will be selected randomly and if I can figure out how to email the winner, I will. No promises on the email though. I know, even my giveaway's are a little half-assed.

If I don't hear back from the winner within 48 hours , I will select another winner. GOOD LUCK!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Works For Me Wednesday - Chargers and Power Cords Oh My

Hate having to dig through a tangle of cords to find the phone charger or power cord you need? Too lazy to do much about it?

When I have a charger or power cord that is ready to go into the junk drawer, I just stick it in a ziplock and seal it up. This keeps the cords from getting tangled up with each other.

If you are feeling really proactive you could even label the ziplock with a sharpie, but where is the fun in that?

I Think Monk Works Here

The mustard is a bit disheveled, but everything else is utterly amazing!

People didn't look at me like I was crazy at all when I pulled out my phone to take a picture !

Monday, March 8, 2010


It was so hard to keep from Laughing Out Loud (I would have put LOL, but I don't think my mom knows what that means) at the woman at Costco checking out with 3 Super King Kong Mega Packs of Nicorette while chewing the heck out of her gum. I'm kind of surprized she wasn't buying patches too.

Not Me Monday - Not My Christmas Tree

I am NOT sitting on the couch staring at our Chrismas Tree wondering if it will ever make it's way back to the garage.

There is NOT a chance that Big Chocolate would walk past an 8 foot Christmas tree everyday and not notice that it was still there right?

As I sit here and type, I am NOT considering accepting reality and planning for year-round decorations for the thing. If my Christmas Tree were up in the summer we could decorate it with American Flag's for July 4th.

Oops, I did NOT just get a great idea and decide to be really passive aggressive and have the kids start making decorations for Big Chocolate's Birthday.

Perhaps the best benefit of all if it were still up is that we wouldn't have to wait until 2 days before Christmas to decorate the thing next year.

This is NOT my Christmas Tree.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dear Douche Bag

Dear Douche Bag,

Yeah you. the one with bling on the ass of your jeans. Not a good look on a man by the way. Sorry, I digress.

When you are at an establishment with unisex bathrooms, put the freaking seat down. And for the love of everything holy, FLUSH THE TOILET! "If it's yellow let it mellow" is only quasi appropriate if you are at your own home and not in a public restroom.

PS. I am going out on a limb here and assuming that since you didn't have the time to put the seat down or flush, you probably didn't take the time to wash your hands either.

This has been a Half-Assed Housewife Emergency Rant. We now return you to your regular programming.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Super Saving Saturday

This week was pretty slow on the shopping front. I missed out on a great deal at Tom Thumb and am still bitter! I can't believe I missed out on almost free paper towels. Darn Nickle Ding Dong.

I did get in on the cereal deal at Kroger and got 4 boxes of cereal and 2 gallons of milk for $6. I also caught flour on sale at Tom Thumb for $1.50 for a 5 pound bag and used 75 cents off coupons from All told I was able to get 7 bags of flour and 10 2 liters of Diet Dr. Pepper for $10.50. On the bright side now that I am properly stocked up on caffeine, I am sure my blog posts will be much better.

Other than that, I have been pretty much operating out of the pantry and freezer this week.

I did have a great week on SwagBucks and cashed out $25 ($15 was carryover from February) worth of Amazon Gift Cards. That brings my total to $95 in 2010. Woo Hoo.

I almost forgot, I also received my free copy of the Busy Mom's Bible from Zondervan this week. I entered a giveaway for it about 2 weeks ago. I am so excited. Now I don't have to carry Big Chocolate's Men's Devotional Bible with me everywhere I go.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Free Studio Movie Grill Tickets Are Back

If you have a Studio Movie Grill near you, you can sign up here to have 2 free movie passes sent to you via email. Each person can register to receive the coupon for 2 free passes. We did this in January and got 8 tickets between the four of us.

I just signed up again and got 8 more free movie tickets! Happy movie watching!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Works For Me Wednesday - Free Item Coupons

I never pass up a Coupon for a FREE anything - even if it is something I will probably never use. Why?

One of my favorite stores has 2 free item coupons each week. They might be good for free milk, juice, bacon, eggs, chicken or other great stuff. Only catch is you have to make a $10 additional purchase.

I like to use free item coupons I find online in order to meet those minimum purchase requirements. Right now I have a coupon for free Excedrin up to $5.99. I don't use Excedrin, but I will "buy" it so my required minimum purchase becomes $4 instead of $10 to get the other good stuff I have store coupons for.

Don't worry, I never waste my Free stuff. I always find someone who will use it or donate it.