While running errands like a crazy woman this week, I did NOT get to the gas station and have to buy $5 worth of gas because I couldn't find my debit card. I NEVER would have left my debit card in the ATM at the bank. NOT ME.
If I had done such a stupid thing, I would NOT have been brave enough to go back to the bank and tell the teller, "I'm an Ass and I think I left my debit card in the ATM." I do have a little pride left. In the end, I would NOT have been satisfied with the fact that I got my card back and Big Chocolate never has to know as well as excited by the adventure because I had something good for my blog.
At dinner Friday night, the following did not leave my lips: "If you think I'm going to trade 'painful butt sex' for a sun-dried tomato you have lost your mind." That was a friend's description by the way. I wouldn't know. Damn the double negatives here. I really, really wouldn't know that.
Big Chocolate did NOT accuse me of being a slob Saturday for wearing sweatpants and a holy sweatshirt to the movies. I would NEVER leave the house looking like that even if I was only going to be out in public for 3 minutes with the lights on and 2 hours in the dark. I did NOT have to go with the holy sweatshirt because it was the only one I had clean.