Big Chocolate did NOT lock himself out of his office last Sunday. He did NOT lock in his keys and cell phone.
He definitely did NOT lock his shoes in his office either. He did NOT have to go downstairs to the Mexican restaurant barefoot to call for help.
I did NOT have to go ring my neighbor's doorbell to bum a ride to my car so that I could go and rescue him.
I am NOT secretly amazed that this story didn't happen in reverse. I would have bet money that I would be the one to be locked out and desperate.
On a completely different note, I did NOT catch my self flipping the imaginary blinker on my shopping cart before I turned left onto the tortilla isle at Walmart this weekend. The traffic in that store was hell I tell you.