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Monday, December 7, 2009

Not Me Monday


My mother did NOT try to kill me this weekend by coming over to my house after visiting a friend with dogs. My eyes did NOT start to swell shut while we were sitting together on the couch.

I did NOT have a full blown allergy and asthma meltdown resulting from this interaction. Even if I did, I would NOT accidentally blow my nose in a used dryer sheet instead of a Kleenex. That would have been stupid and irritating to my already sore nose.

I really would NOT have seriously considered sticking my head in the hinged door that said WASTE and was only 3 feet off the floor at the Post Office when my albuterol, benedryl and dayquill cocktail overwhelmed me. I most certainly would NOT have been excited about all of the calories I must have been burning from the meth factory in my stomach.

I definitely would NOT still sound like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle two days later. I was NEVER that sick, little, red-faced asthma kid you made fun of in elementary school.

2 comments:

  1. I hope you are feeling better! I mean not that you were having any allergic reactions or anything!

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  2. Oh, you poor thing. On the plus side, you just made my Monday seem a lot less painful. Thanks for that! Hope you're feeling better. Cheers!

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