Dream Interpretation

So the other night I had a good run of dreams that I believe may provide some insight into what it is that makes me ~ me.

One dream in a long string of equally strange dreams goes something like this:

I am in bed in my parents guest room. I get up and go to the bathroom I had as a kid and run my fingers through my hair. A big, ginormously huge chunk of hair comes out of the back. Think ponytail size for a visual. I think "Hmm. My hair is falling out, but it looks really cute like this."

I go into my mom's bathroom and show her the pony tail chunk of hair that has fallen out and she is surprised, but agrees my hair looks great. I turn around and go into my parents bedroom. Hang on: here is the weird part...

My dad and my husband are sitting together in my parents bed (no not in a sexual way, think girlfriends doing their nails or something). I show them the pony tail of hair that fell out. As I run my finger through the bottom of the pony tail and realize it's not really hair at all . It's Mar-Dub's fake Bugs Bunny ears that she got at Six Flags. I say "My Bad" and go on my way like it was no big deal.

Now my husband is usually pretty good about listening to my dreams and interpretting them for me in a way that makes total and complete sense. This time he look at me and says "It means you're fucking crazy" and goes on about his business. I kind of think I agree with him...

Free Museums this Weekend

Bank of America has a sweet program where you can get in free to the DMA, Dallas Museum of Nature and Science and Ft Worth Museum of Science and History the first full weekend of every month with a B of A debit, ATM or credit card. Details are on the website. This is good this weekend July 4th and 5th.

Quick Hits

It has been a long and crazy week. No good deals and no time for story telling. Here is a quick list of some quotes from this week. It should give you a pretty good idea of how things are going.

"Oh shit this is the ladies room" ~ Mr. Half-Assed with pants unzipped, man candy in hand and looking around for the urinal that used to be there.

"I don't remember getting these groceries" ~ Me as I realized I have stolen some one's grocery cart from the meat counter at Central Market. I had made it all the way past the wine at this point.

"I need adult supervision out here"~ Mr. Half-Assed after trying to pour match-light charcoal directly from the bag into the already lit grill. It seems those nasty fumes that make the charcoal the "Match Light" variety are quite flammable.

"Isn't that a fireable offense?" ~ Mr. Half-Assed after I told him that one of the cleaning people apparently took a super king kong mega mega shit in the bathroom after they cleaned it. In their defense, while there were serious fumes left in their wake, there were no streaks.

$2 Tank Tops at Old Navy

Made a return to day and found out Old Navy has tank tops for women and girls on sale for $2 each Saturday 6/20 only. Limit is 5 per person. I pre-shopped tonight and am going to take my receipt in for a price adjustment tomorrow.

Also, there are 30 off of 100 coupons still available at oldnavyweekly.com. If you click on the barbell that is to the left of the mannequin arm on the ground and pull it down and place it in the hand of the mannequin below it with the blue tank top, it will trigger the coupon. There were 2000 + when I got mine a few minutes ago.

Made $8 at CVS today

CVS has an Extra Care Bucks deal where if you buy 2 pair of sunglasses you get $10 ECB's back. The packages of pre-moistened lens cleaners that are 99 cents are ringing up and triggering this deal as well. There is a limit of one deal per CVS Card this week.

The lens cleaners I found have been in small silver resealable packets with 20 tissues per pack. I did not find any at the CVS at Legacy and Main this AM. I ended up getting mine in Coppell after work this morning. They were hanging on the tower of sunglasses. I found some laying on a shelf around the corner from the sunglasses as well.

As with all things CVS, this is a your mileage may vary deal depending on where you find the product. If all you can find is one, you can buy it now and the second one before the end of the week and it will still trigger the deal.

Interesting thing is, I used the ones I bought today and my sunglasses have never been so clean. I may actually buy these again...

Parent Complaints

The following is a test of the Half Assed Housewife bitching alert system...

I teach college economics. Alot. Often at 3 different schools during the same semester. I have pissed off alot of people with my sparkling personality. I have had students say I'm rude. Really I'm just sarcastic at their expense. Never (before today that is) have I had a parent complain to my boss about my teaching ability when their child has a 100 in my class. It's not like everyone in the class has 100, just 3 students.

What a buzz kill. I will now be reading from powerpoints for 2 hours 5 days a week at my boss' direction so that the same kid can make a 60 on the next test. Then I am sure the same parent will complain that I am teaching way too much material for their precious child to handle in the constraints of a summer school class.

Needless to say, I think I just retired from teaching at Community College. Four-year Universities are the way to go. They pay twice as much. The students tend to give a damn. I've never had anyone's mommy complain, and my bosses there care about how much my students learn, not how long I teach.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Free Rayovac Batteries

Target has 2 packs of Rayovac Batteries in their $1 section right now. On Ebay you can buy and I have bought $1 off any package of Rayovac Battery coupons. You get 20 coupons for $1.99 with free shipping. I think there were 9 more sets of 20 coupons when I was done buying mine.

Make sure you use them before they start marking the $1 section stuff down, because Target is iffy about reducing the value of coupons to selling price. Also use 4 or 5 at a time when you are buying other stuff you need, because Target does reserve the right to limit the number of coupons you can redeem at a time.

This is how I "buy" batteries, and we go through a lot of batteries in this house. I haven't paid for them in well over a year.

6/18 - You guys bought out all of her coupons. If you scroll down on the closed sale, you will see where there are other listings with the same coupon.

Free Float at A&W

Free small float Friday 6/19 from 2 - 8 PM. One per person. No purchase necessary. Details and fineprint here. I believe the closest location to Frisco is in the parking lot of SAMS at 121 and Hillcrest or thereabouts.

Free Digiorno Flatbread Melts Coupon

Sign up here while they are still available. This is an offer by mail, not a printable. FWIW.

6/17 - This coupon is no longer available.

Frisco-Online Folks

Since someone nearly had a baby because I linked to my own site, I am no longer going to post deals and steals on FOL. I don't know why anyone would care, but it's not worth the extra work just to have people get pissy with me. The mod's deleted my last thread, so I give up.

If you have enjoyed any of the deals I have posted, please check back here as I will keep posting the good deals as I come across them.

New Coach 20% Off Coupon

Click here for a printable to save an additional 20% off already reduced merchandise at the Coach Outlet (in Allen for my Frisco peeps).

I am going to be a good girl and stay away so I can't personally vouch for this deal. Lemme know if anyone has any trouble with this. No one reported problems with the coupon earlier this month.

Coupon is good until 6/21, but they pulled the coupon down before the last day last time around.

Thanks for the heads up Beth!

Free McAfee Antivirus Plus 2009

Buy this and get it free after rebate at AMAZON.Com only. Costs $50 with free shipping and get a $50 Mail in Rebate. Make sure you print the rebate at the bottom of the page and send it in or it's not a good deal.

Free OPI Nail Polish

Click here for a coupon for a free full sized OPI nail polish at Beauty Brands. I am going to try and use this tomorrow. My nails are a train wreck!

6/16 Reports are that the Frisco store is out of everything but black and grey at this time. I'm going to try Plano tomorrow.

Confessions

Father forgive me for I have sinned. It's been 1766 weeks since my last confession. (I turn 34 in 2 weeks. Do the math.) This week I went to Target and grocery shopped with reckless abandon. (I wonder if you spell wreckless with an r or a w. Hopefully spell check will save me here.)

I was just too tired to do any better. I dropped off my un-camper's prescription and just bought crap without regard to price or nutritional value. I didn't buy a single generic item or use a single coupon. I didn't worry about what I could get on sale somewhere else. I just wandered the isles and loaded up.

There was a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken, frozen chicken cordon bleu, taco shells, and eggos oh my. I don't think I have cooked any real food in over a week. If I'm honest, next week isn't looking much better. On the one hand I only spent $60, but on the other I know how much high quality food I could have gotten if I had just given a damn and put in an extra hour of work.

Next week, I am going to be proactive. I am going to cook dammit. I'm heading to Central Market this morning to get one of their $15 lasagnas. The package says Take and Bake so it counts right???

Almost Free Breakfast

Not exactly all the way free, but for a good cause:

Free grilled breakfast sandwich coupon at Panera Bread in exchange for cereal donation. Panera Bread Cereal Drive to Help Fight Hunger on Friday, June 12 from 6:30 a.m. until 9 p.m. at all 15 bakery-cafes in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. Customers are asked to donate a box of cereal at their local Panera Bread, and each person donating will receive a coupon for a free grilled breakfast sandwich.

Free Caffeine!

Caffeine anyone???

Free 12 oz Seattle Best at Borders with this coupon between now and 6/18/09.

Click here to sign up to receive on of this week's 250,000 free candy bar coupons from Mars.

Possible Six Flags Tickets 2/$25

Six Flags was doing a great deal earlier today and their server crapped out. They are promising to reload the deal for a while at some point tomorrow. Check Twitter for updates... Tickets are supposed to be good for use before 6/30.

*** Six Flags sucks! They never got the deal up and running again and are now saying to check back through the summer for more surprise deals. Sorry this ended up being a dud***

Single Moms in Frisco

SINGLE MOM'S YARD WORK: Are you a single mom who needs some help around the yard - or know of one that does? CLICK HERE to sign up for some help on June 20 as Hope Fellowship church strives to serve others.

Free Crest White Strips Sample

Sign up to get your sparkly smile on with a free sample of Crest Advanced Seal Whitestrips.

Worlds Shortest Week at Camp

So, I don't know what I have done to draw the ire of the puking gods, but for the second time in as many days I found myself rubbing someone's back and telling them it would be OK while they tried to recreate the famed scene from the Exorcist.

I promise you, after driving almost 3 hours to church camp, dropping off the luggage, within the first 30 seconds out of the car, it was time to turn around and head back 3 hours home. Luckily he slept the whole way home instead of giving an encore performance. Jesus does love me.

By the time we got home, C-Diddy was running a fever of 104. So off we go for a late night visit at the ER. I tried to hold my breath for 2 1/2 of the 3 hours we were there, but I don't think I was successful. I'm sure I will be posting about our adventures with the plague in a few days.

By 1 AM when we were released from the hospital with an assload of antibiotics, he was feeling just fine and wide awake. Of course he was. He slept the entire six hours in the car. I on the other hand was ready to evaporate I was so exhausted.

Now not to seem too self-centered here, I was really, really, really looking forward to this week with only one kid at home and thus no fighting to deal with. So if anyone knows of any camps for incoming sixth graders within driving distance of DFW that cost less than $700, please let me know. All three of the ones I have found so far are the same week he is supposed to be out of town with the grandparents.

Just Say No

I have a confession to make. I know you will all be so disappointed in me, but I must speak the truth. I allowed $5 pitchers to lure me off of laundry mountain yesterday. I tried to be strong, but I am fundamentally a weak person.

In our defense I will say this. Five of us only spent $30 on margaritas over a 6 hour period of time. Gosh, that sounds so much better than admitting 5 of us drank 6 pitchers of margaritas. I think I am going to stick to that one.

Some new things I learned last night:

1. I am a really good friend. Even if I haven't known you that long, I will be the first to sit on the bathroom floor with you and rub your back while you puke.
2. I am a really good friend. While I was unwilling to actually stick my hand in the puked in trash can, I was the only one willing to take the lid off, gingerly pull the bag out and fondle it from the bottom searching for someone else's lost car keys. Thank goodness for clear bags.
3. If you are going to puke and be unwilling to leave the stall for an hour, for god sake use the Handi Stall. Three people in a regular stall exceeds maximum occupancy.
4. If you went in to the bathroom with two flip flops and you suddenly can't find one of them, look under your ass. You're probably sitting on it.
5. Those power toilets are amazing. You can flush an entire margarita glass, straw and lime wedge. That mystery took a while to solve. Apparently she dropped the glass in the toilet, it shattered and then she flushed it. I really wish I had seen that.
6. If you think you may have "pissed yourself" and no one has pointed it out to you, do not mention it. There is a chance no one will notice.
7. I am a good friend. If you ask me if you "pissed yourself", I will lie to you and tell you I don't think you did.
8. My plan of drinking a half margarita's with a glass of water in between may get me made fun of initially, but let's face it I won. I didn't puke, I didn't cry and I'm not even hungover.

Laundry Mountain

Today is the day I will climb laundry mountain. I will have the single-minded focus of a crazy white man trying to climb Mt. Everest. I have to confess - laundry mountain isn't much smaller.

Now don't get me wrong here. It's not that I am really motivated this morning. If I don't conquer laundry mountain today, my kid has to go to camp for the week naked. I am pretty sure they frown on that at church camp.

Stop Reading here Mom.

I'm pretty sure they frown on kids cussing at church camp too, but that one is out of my control at this point. All I can do is pray he keeps it quiet and none of the trainers catch on. In the event they do, he knows which parent to have them call based on the infraction. Any use of the F-Word as an adjective I get the phone call. Use of the phrase Sorry Ass Mother F'er under the breath would generate a call to Dad.

Luckily haven't received any phone calls yet, but my sixth sense tells me I have a little cusser on my hands. Crap and sucks don't really phase me (or elementary school teachers). I will say this in my defense. I work on the theory that words are words. It's how you use them that matters.

I told you to stop reading Mom. You don't get to be disappointed in me.

Damn ~ Dryer just beeped must get back to work.

Coach Outlet Coupon

I will not use this. I will not use this. I will not use this. Handbags are my crack. I will not use this.

If your addiction isn't as out of control as mine, then click here for a 20% coupon good on previously reduced merchandise at the Coach Outlet until Sunday. Thanks to UTQT on frisco-online.com for the heads up on this deal.

Cheezie Freebie

My favorite Property Manager in the whole world gave me this Freebie. Me thinks she's trying to make me Fat(ter).

KENNY SAYS "THANK YOU"for a terrific first six months! Come in anytime during June 2009 and enjoy an order of Cheese Fries on us! We've revamped our Cheese Fries...You've gotta see 'em and eat 'em to believe 'em!

SECRET PASSWORDS TO GET THE FREE FRIES? "I LOVE KENNY'S"

This is Kenny's Burger House at Legacy and 121. I highly recommend the mushroom burger with brie. If you are feeling guilty about all of the free food lately you can go with the Greek Salad with Salmon. It is to die for! Also Kenny is cool, so you can order the stuffed jalapenos, stuffed mushrooms and ribs by the piece even though it doesn't say that on the menu.

Free Chocolate Fridays

Not that we need any more sugar... But you can sign up here for a free candy bar coupon from Mars. They have 250,000 coupons up for grabs every Friday between now and September.

ETA: Fixed the Linky

Oh So Gooey Granola

I'm planning on making granola today. Who knows if I will actually get around to it, but a girl can dream. This recipe is a staple in our house. Feel free to change it up. I never make it the same way twice, but that's par for the course for me. This is good high quality granola, but it's sticky not like that sawdust you buy at the store.

1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Line a cookie sheet with non-stick foil. Make sure you get the sides too.
3. Mix 4 1/2 cups of regular unquick oatmeal, 1 1/2 cups slivered almonds, 1 cup sunflower seeds (shelled, unsalted), 1/3 cup vegetable oil, 1 to 1 1/4 cups of honey, 2 TBSP of cinnamon, and up to a cup of anything else you want in there. I like craisins.
4. Stir it up really well, then spread it out on your cookie sheet.
5. Bake at 325 for 15 minutes
6. Take it out and toss it around with a spatula.
7. Bake it for an additional 15 - 20 - 25 minutes.

You are looking for a good golden or caramel color on the granola. Watch it though because you don't want it to get too brown (or black if you're me). It's probably still going to be sticky depending on how much oil and honey you use.

Let it cool down at least a little and then sneak a bite. Don't eat it straight out of the oven or your mouth will be very angry. Don't ask. Once it cools down put it in a ziplock bag. This makes about a gallon bag full.

We eat it alone or with vanilla yogurt. I don't like it in milk. With milk you are better going with the more cereal types of granola.

Shopping Tips: If you are buying the ingredients in small quantities it will be expensive. I try to minimize cost so I get my stuff in bulk at Costco. The almonds in particular are less expensive when you buy the ginormous bag. Their honey is about $10 for 32 oz. I either get the huge box of oatmeal at Costco or stock up on Free Oatmeal when I find a deal on it. Sunflower seeds I usually buy bulk at Sprouts or somewhere like that.

Interesting Aside: Spell check didn't say "ginormous" was spelled incorrectly. I guess Buddy the Elf has caused English as we know it to evolve.

Sexy Freebie

Victoria's Secret is supporting National Donut Day by offering a free pair of panties when you become a fan on Facebook. They're not really supporting National Donut Day, but I figure I am going to need to supersize in the undie department after free floats and donuts this week. Get your coupon now and use it by tomorrow or you will have just wasted ink and paper.

It's all a matter of perspective

Today was quite the productive day. I managed to get our business and personal taxes done.

Now I could look at this as something I was behind on, but the fact of the matter was I filed an extension on both of them so really I am about 2 1/2 months early now. That sounds better.

The good news was I got them done early. The bad news was I couldn't find a couple of things I needed for our personal taxes so it took for freakin' ever to get everything done.

Moral of the story is next year I am paying an accountant.

Freebies This Week

I love Freebies and sugar. What's better than free sugar?

Tonight get your Free Root Beer Float's at Sonic.

Friday is National Donut Day so get a Free Donut at both Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts.

Oh the Insanity

Sorry for the late notice on the Kroger and Tom Thumb deals, but I always want to make sure a deal works before I post it. This has been a crazy, nusto, psychotic, insane week and it's only Tuesday.

My husband hired his first real employee. While I am pleased to no longer be a sexetary (that's what my mother in law calls it), I seem to have now assumed the roles of HR manager and payroll manager. This is of course in addition to my job as paralegal, director of accounting and IT guy.

Oh yeah I got a last minute call to teach summer school, so add economics professor back to the list as of Friday. Yes they let me teach even though my grammar and spelling both suck butt. I'm going to tell you a secret, but it has to stay between the two of us. I once had to sing Holla Back Girl to myself in front of an entire classroom because I was a jackass and couldn't spell bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I now stick to examples where I am sure I know how to spell everything just right.

Anywho, I had to post the Tom Thumb deal in 30 seconds while yelling at my kids to get their shoes on so we could head to Stonebriar for dinner (read: $1 Happy Hour). I am not a country club kinda girl, but I'm trying to lay low and enjoy the cheap drinks before they kick me out for not giving a damn about the dress code.

Now your reward for reading this far is a pretty darn good deal on Aveeno Sunscreen at CVS that you actually have more than 3 hours to act on. They have a spend $20 get $10 in ECB's back deal going on. What makes it good is that they have $2 off coupons up at the front doors. They have a ton of them so take a few and don't feel guilty. The $11 sunscreen in variations from pasty to crypt keeper (30 - 70 SPF for you less imaginative types) is on sale for $9. Here is how I worked the deal:

3 @ $9 = $27 towards the deal = $21 cash after 3 coupons with $10 ECBs back
2 @ $9 = $18 towards the deal ($45 total)= $4 cash after 2 coupons and previous ECBs with $10 more ECBs back.
2 @ $9 = $18 towards the deal ($63 total)= $4 cash after 2 coupons and previous ECBs with $10 more ECBs back.

All told I spent $29 cash (since I didn't have any ECB's to start with and had $10 ECBs left. So for effectively $19 I got 7 cans of spray on suncreen that I desperately needed for the summer. $2.71 for the $11 stuff isn't bad. This is the good stuff that blocks the UVA and UVB rays too. My pasty complexion may be safe for another summer.

Tom Thumb -

Kool Aid and Cheese are cheap tonight only.

Kool-Aid packets are 10/$1 combined with doubled 50 cent off printable from the links in the previous post gets you free Kool-Aid. I had to take mine to Customer Service because they didn't double automatically but no troubles, I held my head high and left with my dollar

Also Tom Thumb on Lebanon and Preston has Kraft 2% shreds for $1.99 a bag. They have 50 cent coupons there which can be doubled for 99 cent bags of cheese. This deal is good through Saturday.

Make Money - Country Time Lemonade

Today at Kroger you can get canisters of Country Time for $1 each with your Kroger card. You can get $1.50 off of 2 coupons at coupons.com and at kraft. When you buy 2 you get a $1 off on your next purchase catalina. Buy them 2 at a time because I only got 1 catalina back when I bought 4 at a time.

Buying 2 at a time, you pay 54 cents and get a $1 catalina back.

Going to check on a kool-aid deal at Tom Thumb and will post back when I'm sure it works.