Saturday, August 15, 2009

Big Chocolate Is Lucky To Be Alive

A lesser woman would have killed him. Last night when he got home we were sitting on the couch cuddling, laughing and all that good stuff. He has his arm around me and next thing I know he is poking me in my stomach and makes the Pillsbury Doughboy sound. Blank Now keep in mind this is all very subconscious. It wasn't that he did it to fuck with me. He just did it. For the second time in as many weeks. The first time I let it slide. This time all I could say was "That is so wrong."

He doesn't realize what he's done because it was subconscious. I tell him and at first he tries denying it. Then I tell him it's the second time he's done it. He says "No Shit" and begins to go into lawyer mode trying to explain that I had to be making a mistake. According to him I misunderstood what he meant.

At this point I poke him in the stomach and make the sound. Lawyer mode quickly fails him when he starts laughing his ass off because after all it is funny as hell.

The sick thing is I kind of want to go to marriage counseling over this. Not because I think we have problems (Well we do obviously have problems, just not of the marital variety), but because I want to see if there is a counselor out there that is able to keep a straight face and maintain their professionalism while being told this story.
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5 comments:

  1. BethAugust 15, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    SO glad I found your blog! I laughed my ass off. My husband did the same thing to me ONCE. Based on my reaction, he has never, ever done it again and never will! Thanks for the giggle. Can't wait to read what's next. Cheers!

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  2. UnknownAugust 15, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    I hooe Big Chocolate realizes how lucky he is! Definitely not good behaviour from someone who expects to be getting any in the near future!!

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  3. The Half Assed HousewifeAugust 15, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    Sad thing is he got some anyway. Apparently the Pillsbury Doughgirl is still sexy.

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  4. Theta MomAugust 16, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    He needs to know that totally bothers you and it's not funny! I say hold out on him until he stops. That should do it, no?

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  5. Brittany at Mommy WordsAugust 17, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    Oh my gosh I would be so pissed. I get pissed and I am pregnant. But Ross does not get any during this doctor mandated "pelvic rest" so he would have no chance for any nookie. Maybe he figures have fun with me now and be nice when he can get some! Just found you I am following!

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Don't be a wimp. Talk to me!

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