Monday, August 24, 2009

Fashion Advice

If you are the parent of a big child, do not, I repeat, do not dress your child in all purple. Depending on the distribution of the bigness, your kid is either going to look like Barney or the Snooty Bitch after she blew up in Willy Wonka. The Purple People Eater is not a cute nickname.

If you are a big grown up, do not wear a shirt advertising "Lose 3 Sizes in 10 Minutes". Either the shit your advertising didn't stick, or you were huge as a freaking whale when you started.


  1. No photo to go with this post?? My imagination is going wild!

  2. Kids are so cruel. When I was young, kids would run up to me on the playground, push me, and say, "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!" My heart goes out to your kid. It never gets easier to take, but your skin gets thicker.

  3. So this is bad, but it wasn't my kid. My kids are runts with ginormous feet. It wasn't a kid that came up with Purple People Eater. Luckily the nickname has only been used amongst adults...

  4. I know who you "could" be talking about...her new nick name is violet! gotta love it!


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